27-09-2019 Mess Making

I have felt stuck for the past few days (the dark night of the soul), the writing of the essay was di cult, being in the studio felt pres- suring, to the point that today I cancelled my studio session in the morning. I did that because I needed to reconnect with myself and look at the work as play again. If I put pressure on the work expecting it to make sense and be a revelation, I will just be very disappointed. So now I need to stop for a moment and look for the fun and the game, and the spontaneity (the regenerative life of the work). ere is nothing to worry about, it’s a matter of letting go rather than controlling the creative process, what I’m trying to do is to create a fertile ground for things to happen and unfold rather than forcing them.

Yesterday I made the mess in studio 9 (a rather contained one) with: ropes, post-it, plastic cups and bags, sleeping bag, few chairs, curtains and ladder, and I didn’t have much fun nor making it nor cleaning it, why? Because I wanted it to be some- thing, I was pushing the mess to become something. Speaking with Pedro in the evening we came to realise that, this is a good thing. The absurdity of making a mess and then cleaning it up, inviting people to participate to the relentless process of cleaning up something I did, it’s probably what’s interesting. It has nothing special to it, nothing to be idealized, so the way in which the task is accomplished it’s the relevant part.

So it is all about being present and enjoy it. 

Looking at the situation with new eyes in every moment, being present with it and let it flow. Being in a Regenerative state of consciousness. Instead of a Reductionist one, in which there is a goal and targets that need to be accomplished, and something needs to be done about it.


Maybe this is the core of the duality that I am investigating, the doing, the movement, the dance can go either way (regenerative, reductionist) and it fluctuate between these two states being one continuum experimentation of presence.

So the key here is the body in relation to the environment (space) and the other-than-human and the human participants to the focal practice.


I am making sugar glass to incorporate it in the installation both for the maidenspeech performance and the research presentation. Some how I got very fascinated by the image of broken glass on the floor that I have experienced in a particular party I went to, in July and also by the broken glass I often see on the street. The result turned out to be allright, a bit sticky though and I had no bottle mold so I have improvised some things..

Now I should focus on the essay but it is hard to write 

Also Someone wrote an email today to the all HZT mailbox, saying that the floor of studio 8 was slippery and oily, and I felt guilty about it cause it could have been me. Problem is that I even mopped it twice, to make sure it was spick and span, so i Doubt it was me. . . So even if I try to be untraceable I am not, the mess is still a mess. 


Washing the floor of studio 8 after the session of the 1rst of September a lot of traces were left behind especially on the floor, so I took time to wash it with water and mop, I found some interesting movement especially circular.

Floor work as a mean to clean the floor? My body used to remove the dirt, the traces of my passage, wearing a special costume (either black or white) then rolling on the floor for about 10 min.


A week or so ago, I also had another brainwave which I might have forgotten to note down: I imagined the audience entering into a space in which something has just happened, something strong, energetically devastating, like a storm, or a wild fire, or a riot or an earthquake. Or something that encompasses all of these catastrophes, but man made. So the audience would walk in, and experience for a few minutes the peace after the storm the aftermath of delirium, ashes floating in the air, smell of sweat and fire. Water spilled all over and crashed glasses on the floor, footsteps on the floor and on the walls, hands stripes and so on...

The performer would enter with the audience and experience this together with them, then when everyone is inside leave the door open and the actions happening inside are: cleaning, recovering, regenerating the space.

Thoughts after the session:

I have ‘made a mess’ for 20min (lets call it STORM PHASE) using: two categories of objects one being ‘Aborigines objects” and ‘Imported objects’
First list of imported objects:
1) white magnesium on feet and hands to create footsteps and hand steps on the floor (white on the black floor of studio 8 worked well), I have run in a circle for 4 rounds, doing handstands mainly on one side of the studio.
2) All the objects in the two bags I have brought from home today: short black ropes, harness, metal hooks, the small desktop light ( maybe I should have more of these different lights), grey harnessing bag, notebooks and the book of Ecofeminism
3) the black charcoals made at mom’s place. (I will have much more when the box arrives) playing with making the sound searching through them is very interesting, moving them around also makes a very good sound. The charcoal have also been used during the STORM to draw ‘gravity’ on the wall, slogan, protest, circles, signs, messages, drawings.
4) The bags, are containers and objects to play with at the same time, wearing the bags to do other actions not related with the bags (carrying them around is already an interesting action), plays an interesting role ( find precision in knowing the character who does the action).
5) The long white rope 25 meters! Is attached to the radiator and hangs out from the window with nots every meter (escape!). The action related to this object: go to the window, climbing on a chair and look outside and down, then start pulling up the rope, continuously till it is all in the room, throw it to the floor detach it from radiator and close the window.
6) the plastic bottle that used to be washing product and now contains water (mainly to clean), there is the drinking water contained in the black bottle, and coloured water spilling out of the bamboo cup. 

7) the table and red chairs are “aborigous objects” that are very beautiful and add color and camouflaging to the image, I have positioned them fallen sideways on the floor near the wall. Add small black pillow, maybe throw them against the wall.
8) computer, power cable, phone and selfie stick
Now a list of Imported Objects to add in the next session:
Pillows (specific ones that change shapes and keep the memory of a shape for a while.. lecture stand (where is it?? ask minna.)

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